Tuesday, October 2, 2012

What is my purpose?

    I believe I have many purposes. I have different jobs in many areas in my life. I am a youngest child, the observer who comforts the family members. I am a teammate, the person who celebrates for other people and makes everyone work harder than they thought possible. I am a friend, who loves to laugh. I am a daughter, who looks up to her parents tremendously and strives to obey them. I am a child of God, whose purpose is to worship and glorify Him.
     The new famous question these days are, “where are you going to college at?” or “what do you want to major in?” I still don’t know what my purpose is in these areas. I don’t know what I want to be when I “grow up” or where I want to be. Right now I have the mindset that I can do anything and am up for everything. I will just trust God. Sometimes I wonder if my purpose is to reach out to children, but I still don’t have a clear direction to that area. Although I am at a place in life where I am unsure of what I want to do in my future, I can always have the ability to say that my purpose is to follow God. 
     I have a purpose everywhere I am. God’s timing is perfect. There are many incidences where I wouldn’t want to go somewhere, but I tell myself I will have a good attitude about it anyways and I end up having a blast because I get to see the reason why God had me there. The thing that can be frustrating at times is when you don’t know what God’s purpose is for you. At times it is very difficult to trust God; the one who died on the cross for you. You would think it’d be easy to trust someone who is all-powerful and mighty, the one who created us. I experienced this just last year. Trying to decide which school to go to was so difficult for me. I kept praying about it, but I still never knew where God wanted me to be. Not until last minute did I realize where God intended me to be. Even then I questioned myself until I actually got to school for the first day and was given a warm welcoming by the volleyball team.
     That leads me to another one of my purposes, my purpose as an athlete. Although my main purpose in sports is to give 110%, there are a few extra purposes. In volleyball, my purpose is to get my job done. I am a defensive specialist, so my job is to keep the ball from touching the floor – no matter what. In track, my purpose is to get points for the team. Sometimes you don’t want to be in a specific event that the coaches want you in, but you do it anyways because you know it’s the best you can do for the team. Mom and Dad always made it clear to us children what our purpose is. They always taught us that our purpose was to always give God the glory in everything we do and to always follow Him.
    I think it is so important to say and understand what our purpose is. People have many different opinions as to what our purpose is, but without a purpose we have nothing to live for. It would be very difficult to live each day if you didn’t think you had a purpose in life. I also believe that I have a big purpose just as the youngest child. Most people think that the baby of the family is just plain spoiled and their parents do everything for them. Well, this isn’t true in my family. My parents made sure of it, trust me. They did not give anyone the slightest chance to say that I was the “favorite” child just because I was the youngest. They made me and all my siblings learn what work is at a very early age. This is something that I am very thankful for. My purpose as the youngest child is to listen. I was always the observer and just laughed with the family and listened. When one of my sisters was in a bad mood, I would always just sit with them and let them talk it out.
    When I look back on my life I would say my purpose was to show love to people. God gifted me with a caring heart. I was always known as the little girl that would go around church hugging all of the older people. Most people would agree that I don’t cry very often or easily. Yeah, I cry when I laugh really hard, but that’s not what I mean. What people don’t know is how easy it is for me to cry. Pain doesn’t affect me at all; it’s seeing other people’s pain that impacts me. If you feel sad, I’m sad. I’m never happy if one person is even slightly upset. So, what is my purpose? My purpose is to follow God and show everyone His love along the way.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Where Am I?

    Where am I? This question is so comforting to me, unlike the question “who am I”. Where I am is what made me who I am. My home is so special and, well, basically perfect in my eyes. It is such a blessing to be able to say I have only moved once. I really don’t even count it as a move, considering we kept the same farm and only switched the old house with one we built just two miles farther down the road.

    I get sad whenever I remember that I will have to leave our small farm soon. This was the perfect place to be raised. Chickens running around, dogs barking, calves crying for us to bottle feed them, horses grazing in a nearby pasture – it was perfect. I was always a daddy’s girl. When I was little, you could always find me “helping” him out on the farm. I’m so lucky to be blessed with such a patient father, because I asked an incredible amount of questions growing up. I wanted to know everything about the farm.
    One of my favorite parts about our busy little farm, is the fact that it is only a few miles from the cutest town ever – Aurora, Nebraska. Even with the low population of 4,479 people, Aurora was ranked the number one place to raise a family by the Progressive Farmer Magazine. The brick roads are my absolute favorite. I love the friendly, small town atmosphere. Everyone knows who drives which car.
    The best thing about the organic farm life was the fact that it took the whole family to make it work. As soon as we were able to walk, us kids found a way to help out. Having to work together all the time made the family even closer. We were always on the look-out for each other. All four of us kids were homeschooled until high school, so we were together a lot when we were younger. During harvest, we would always get to take our homework with us while we rode on the combine with dad or grandpa.
Once high school came, I decided to attend Nebraska Christian in Central City, Nebraska. I was always known as the “little Miller” because both of my sisters went to the school before I did. After being there for about two years, I decided it wasn’t the place I should be. I spent my whole summer contemplating on whether or not I should transfer before my junior year. It got kind of frustrating for me because I wanted my parents to just tell me what I should do and where I should go to school, but all they said was that it was up to me.  The only thing they told me was that I had to stay at whichever school I chose for the rest of my high school years. That definitely put even more pressure on me, but I knew they were right in saying that. Looking back on it, I am very grateful they did this. It made me become more independent and realize how my life will constantly have tough decisions to make, but my parents won’t always be able to tell me what to do.
    Well, the last day of summer break was here. The next morning I would either be attending the first day of volleyball conditioning at Nebraska Christian or Aurora. At about 10:30 that night, I decided to go to Aurora. So far, I’d say that was the toughest decision I’ve ever had to make. The transfer was so easy. Everyone was so welcoming at the new school! I went to Aurora my kindergarten year, so it was fun seeing people again after so many years.
    The best part about where I am is that I am surrounded by my friends and family. A small-town atmosphere is the best when it comes to friends. We are all so close to each other and it doesn’t take much to entertain us. Even the simple things, such as cruising around in a truck, will keep us happy.
     The fact that where I am now is so great makes the future kind of scary. Most people my age are anxious to graduate and leave the town, but I am perfectly fine with having another year here. I know my location will change very soon, but I am so grateful that I will always have the people and this town to come back to.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Who am I?

     Who am I? My first reaction to this question is the thought that it is a stupid and obvious answer. I am Rachel Miller of course! But thinking harder, my mind flies through a ton of answers. So many answers that I confuse myself with who I really am. It sort of makes me feel like a special person because it makes me realize how much I am. I am a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter, a friend, an athlete, a child of God . . . so much!
    I think a big part of who I am, is myself. Sounds stupid right? Well, I think there are a lot of people in the world who could say that they try to be somebody else other than themselves. I used to be the same way. It took a while for me to realize that I could never be like my sister. When I was little, my sister got so frustrated with me because I would copy her so much. I wanted to be just like her, but the fact that the copying annoyed her tremendously was a bonus as well. I always heard the saying that you should always be yourself and all, but I counted the sister act as being myself since that was who I wanted to be. Copying her never really stopped until I was in junior high. I finally started to realize that I would never be like her. Although I absolutely love my sister and still look up to her, I am glad I gave up being just like her. I started to develop my own opinions and likes and dislikes. Now, I am obsessed with farm life. My sister enjoyed living on the farm, but she didn’t enjoy nature and farm work as I do. I no longer try to be as funny as her, which is probably a big relief to the rest of the family. I’ve learned when to be quiet, when to give input, and when to just sit and listen. I learned to be my own, smiley self.
    Another big part of who I am is activities. I love being involved in sports, riding horses, hanging out with friends, and being adventurous. Adventures are never too hard to find when you live on a farm. Growing up, my dad always found random critters to show us kids. I still don’t know how he found so many random animals. Most people would see the animals and pull out a gun right away. Well, not my dad. We have never even owned a gun and have maybe been around one a few times. My dad would catch the animals, usually babies, and bring them home for his four eager, little children. Having pet raccoons was normal for us. Sometimes we’d even get a baby fawn to have for a few days before we would release it. Even I have started to bring baby coons, hedgehogs, and ducks home for family show-and-tell.
    Finally, I am a family member. Family is extremely important to me. They have taught me all I know and they are one of the few things in life that I can say I will have forever. A smile always lines my face when I think about my close-knit family. It’s so hard to say we aren’t a perfect family, because I know we have our moments and all, but we are definitely one-of-a-kind. Growing up on an organic farm, we all learned what true work really was very quickly. Mom and Dad taught us to never complain, and always be thankful. Sitting down at the lunch table is a great example of how this motto fits us. Each of us kids always would compete for who could say, “Thank you for the food mom, it is very good!” first.  Just a heads up, make sure you actually take a bite of your food before you say this, trust me, parents are smart. You might be wondering if we lie and say we like the food, when we don’t. No worries, we don’t lie. We just say, “thank you for the food mom!” and just leave the ‘very good’ part out. That worked great until the parents showed their smartness yet again, and figured us out.
    Hopefully this essay tells you a lot about who I am. I have so much to be thankful for! I look forward to experiencing new adventures that will add to who I am. There is always the question, who will I be, but for now, I can have satisfaction and enjoy who I am.

life sound track

Object for Tradition: Christmas ornament

"Deep Map"